1. |
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Welcome to my island
On the edge of a vast ocean
Where you can feel completely alive
While staring at oblivion
My head had been so quiet
Now there’s a rush of traffic
And so we must be extra careful
Not to get run down
Everybody needs to get away
I hope you find what you’re looking for
And if you don’t there’s an empty shore
Where you can howl at the ocean
I’m happy that you’re here I hope you’ll stay
The winters can feel endless
But there’s beauty in the darkness
And then light at the end
I’ve found a kind of peace here
The voices are much quieter
They say things like ‘you worthless piece of crap,
Look at that view!
What the hell is wrong with you?
In midwinter you are desperate for light
At midsummer you just want to get some sleep
And then another year is through.’
And yes I know I know I know
So here’s my tourist information
Ignore the roadworks and just focus on the sky
Til you reach your destination
Everybody needs to get away
I hope you find it comforting
And if it’s not, you can drink our gin
and then howl at the ocean
I’m happy that you’re here I hope you’ll stay
The winters can feel endless
But there’s beauty in the darkness
And then light at the end.
Welcome to my island
I’m trying to be more welcoming
But honestly I’m still a building site
And the signage is confusing.
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2. |
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I’m fighting against nature and nature is winning
and that’s as it should be, not some hollow victory
so I’ll be back next year to slaughter your children.
These are the thoughts that go through my head
as I’m pulling ragwort on the Sabbath.
I’m spending my weekdays putting down roots
and spending my weekends tearing them up again.
I see you, old neighbour, gossiping and judging
all I’m uprooting and nothing I’m planting.
These are the thoughts that go through my head
as I’m pulling ragwort on the Sabbath
I fell into a century long sleep
and woke up at the top of the world.
Found a road that leads everywhere and nowhere at once
where the sea and the sky are a sucker punch.
I tried to leave myself in the city
but the fucker followed me to Stornoway.
I dumped him in a shieling but he’s stubbornly alive.
I still lose days to email while my kids make knives.
They are something I am not.
I am not yet quite sure what
but it gives me hope.
These are the thoughts that go through my head
as I’m pulling ragwort on the Sabbath.
These are the things that go through my head...
It might sound like defiance but I’m often on your side.
Some weeks it’s the only day I feel alive
in this madness,
this sadness,
this not completing anything and not allowed to stop,
the constant pulling up of roots while never planting crops.
I am a murderer
wanting something to survive
on the Sabbath.
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3. |
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Donny, don’t take my croft from me
It’s all that I’ve got to keep me company
Donny, don’t take my croft from me
It’s all that you’re not, and it makes me happy
I know that my mind is not what it was
I know that my hands shake in the evenings
But I remember Glasgow like colour TV
And I can’t breathe that air, don’t do that to me.
Donny, don’t take my croft from me
It’s all that I’ve got to keep me company
Donny, you make no sense to me.
Two dozen sheep are all the life I need
You may have won power of attorney
But you have lost the power of empathy
How can you talk about prosperity
When out of my window I can see galaxies?
That orange glow that blots out your sky
Consider it a warning
The shrill car alarm that fills up your ears
First thing every morning
Yeah I know that my light is dying
But before I’m a neutron star
I intend to go supernova
In the back seat of your car
Oh if only I could get the words out.
Dad, what are you saying to me?
You’re making no sense,
You have tears in your eyes
Don’t fret about your skeletal sheep
They’re in safe hands now
We caught them just in time
We’ll drive by the croft
Say one last goodbye.
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4. |
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There’s a waterfall that flows upwards
When the wind is strong enough
There’s a tiny, petrified forest
Alive with a flock of birds
There’s a beach with a million stones
That sing to you at night
But a photograph
Or a description
Cannot reach so many miles
I’m not much use as a guide to the Western Isles
I wish you were here
I’m sorry the path’s not been clearer
I’m sorry the ocean is frightening
I hope it gets easier
I’m sorry I can’t write a guidebook
To help you find your way through this
I hope it gets easier
Just know this is your home
Just know that you are loved.
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5. |
Jump the fence
03:12
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She wants to jump the fence
She wants to jump the fence
She wants to know what’s out there
She wants to test her legs
She wants to jump the fence
She wants to run to that mountain
To see what’s behind it
To see if it’s real
And she says to them
'How do you know you’re happy?
How do you know you’re happy
when all that you know is food and water?
How do you know you’re happy?
How do you know you’re happy
when all that you know is the smell of each other?'
She wants to jump the fence
It’s all she’s wanted for years
She was always faster and smarter
Bored of the boys
Flocking around
And complaining!
'You ought to be more quiet
You ought to be more humble
The cleverest ones always get into trouble
You ought to be more placid
You ought to be more tranquil
The noisiest ones are the ones who get killed
That’s why you won’t jump the fence
That’s why you won’t jump the fence
Because the ones who leave
Never come back
They have never come back.'
And as the engine noise approaches
And as the others run towards it
She takes one last look at the field
and then disappears
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6. |
The mainland
03:43
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A long time ago
I lived on the mainland
A place in the cloud
Off the edge of the map
Where people live in tribes
Each with their own language
Avoid each other’s eyes
Type instead of talking
So no one ever knows what they’re really thinking
They eat out of boxes
While staring at computers
In the middle of the night
The lights are always on
But some of them are haunted
by things they can’t explain
A feeling of unease
That burrows through their brain
Like mechanical diggers
Moving soil aside
To put in pipes and cables
And tunnels to provide
For the needs of the mainland
But the deeds of the mainland
are drilling tiny holes
in everybody’s souls.
That’s why I had to go
I live in a hotel
I struggle with the language
I’ll always be a tourist
A boat on the sea
Adrift from the mainland
But not of the island
And I can live with that
If it can live with me
Like everyone I’m looking
For somewhere to call home
I’m from so many places
I barely even know
I'm a swimmer in the mainstream
A ‘normal’ kind of guy
Trying to tune in
Unskillfully
to the song of the sea
I don’t have a solution
Other than to swim
Live as if I’ll die
If I don’t dive in
Swim from the mainstream
away from the mainland
Out into the sea
Into the darkness
Into the unknown.
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7. |
Valhalla
02:23
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To save you time here’s how we’ll say goodbye
I was just a tourist and now I’m moving on
It’s been great but there’s so much more to see
Maybe when you’re older you’ll feel the same as me
Man it will have been such a beautiful adventure
Everything I’ve seen and that I saw it with you
I’ll send you a postcard by DNA
Honey don’t you cry you no longer need a tour guide
You are doing fine, you have all the maps you need
You’ve mastered the language, I couldn’t be more proud
No prayers please, no awkward talk of God
The Bible’s just a brochure of sites we have seen
But now my soul is itching to travel somewhere new
Any one of billions of galaxies will do
So lay me on a long ship, set it on fire
I’ll write you from Valhalla or Folkvangr.
Man it will have been such a beautiful adventure
Everything I’ve seen and that I saw it with you
I’ll send you a postcard by DNA
Everybody hopes that their journey will mean something
Even if the road has been rocky on the way
And when I look at you
I know we made it through
Honey don’t you cry you no longer need a tour guide
You are doing fine, you have all the maps you need
You’ve mastered the language, I couldn’t be more proud
But I am leaving now
I don’t know what’s in store
When my ship leaves this shore
And if it’s just an empty sea
I hope you’ll still think of me
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8. |
Sad country boy
03:06
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It's six in the morning, and I'm in my bed
I spend most of the night in the shed
I was in the shed with me and my mate
Scoffing magic mushrooms off a plate
Oh I am a country boy, and I don't like the city
I'd rather be at home watching the telly
The cows and sheep are in the croft
That I'm hiding up in my granny's loft
Trying to find a way to make a living
Well, I know it isn't normal, and I know it isn't right
Any average man would get a fright
My head is in the clouds, and my guts are on the deck
It's seven hours to go before I lose the sweats
I am a country boy, and I don't like the city
I'd rather be at home watching the telly
The cows and sheep are in the croft
I'm hiding up in my granny's loft
Trying to find a way to make a living
Trying to find a way to make a living
(Plate full of sgadan and some marag dhub
Plate full of sgadan and some marag dhub)
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9. |
Still
03:43
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You and I are never still
There’s always just so much to do
Even in this quiet place
It was never an escape
It just provides a clearer view
Of all the horrors in the world
That they will need to make it through
And so at night we lie awake
Wondering if they’ll be ok
Wondering if they’ll be ok
You and I are only still
When somebody is in pain
When a bitter truth comes out
And we see ourselves again
There are deeds we can’t undo
Stupid lies I can’t unsay
Our lives are maps of our mistakes
And so at night we lie awake
Wondering if we’ll be ok
Wondering if we’ll be ok
I am scared
that if ever I stay still
It’ll be clear that I don’t deserve this
That’s why my hands are always full
You are scared
and there’s nothing I can say
I’ve been here half a century
I still stumble through each day
This is an atonement
A statement of intent
An anthem for the future
Or at least an attempt
Forgive me, I still love you
Forgive me, I still need you
There are no maps for this part of our lives,
just a one track route, a few passing places
where events overtake you at frightening speed
or you’re battered by storms as you cling to your seat
I’m not much of a driver but I’m trying my best
to keep us together through the harshest of tests.
I don’t want to be someone you pass on the road.
I feel like we’ve still got a long way to go
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10. |
All art is worthless
02:54
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All art is worthless
except for the fact that
it makes life bearable.
If you lose your compass
you will not find it
inside a shopping mall.
Classical poetry
Digital content
Flowers at the funeral
After the pub
Before the storm
A glass that's half full
The comfort of darkness
The kindness of crowds
A word that reminds you
of your 16th birthday
The boy who broke your heart
The meaning of life
The anthem you hope will help bring down the government
The keening lament when they win
And everything in between
I've only trod lightly
left a faint footprint
but it's all that I can do.
All art is worthless
except for the fact that
nothing else gets you through.
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11. |
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On weekends I search for little seeds of wisdom
Pull what’s not needed, repeat, rake through,
Yeah I’m a sinner but it’s the work of finding peace here,
Of finding me here, or something new.
Nothing in those seven-day weeks,
those floodlit streets
could give me what I need.
Maybe if I dig deep enough into the soil,
underneath the weeds,
pulling ragwort on the Sabbath.
My children have already almost forgotten
They can take root here, shaped by the stone.
The city might as well be a simulation
but if you cracked me open you’d see its code
and it only lets me go a Sunday,
pulling ragwort on the Sabbath.
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12. |
Find the river
03:36
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Hey now, little speedyhead
The read on the speedmeter says
You have to go to task in the city
Where people drown and people serve
Don't be shy, your just deserve
Is only just light years to go
Me, my thoughts are flower strewn
Ocean storm, bayberry moon
I have got to leave to find my way
Watch the road and memorize
This life that pass before my eyes
And nothing is going my way
The ocean is the river's goal
A need to leave the water knows
We're closer now than light years to go
I have got to find the river
Bergamot and vetiver
Run through my head and fall away
Leave the road and memorize
This life that pass before my eyes
And nothing is going my way
There's no one left to take the lead
But I tell you and you can see
We're closer now than light years to go
Pick up here and chase the ride
The river empties to the tide
Fall into the ocean
The river to the ocean goes
A fortune for the undertow
None of this is going my way
There is nothing left to throw
Of ginger, lemon, indigo
Coriander stem and rose of hay
Strength and courage overrides
The privileged and weary eyes
Of river poet search naiveté
Pick up here and chase the ride
The river empties to the tide
All of this is coming your way
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Andrew Eaton Lewis Scotland, UK
‘Exhilarating… stirringly fresh and smart.’ The Independent
'Adult pop with heart and brains.' The
Guardian.
'Like minimalist classical composers working on adventurous ballads for R.E.M.' The Herald.
... more
Andrew Eaton Lewis recommends:
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My first solo project.
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The classically trained English musician inhabits the in-between on her meditative, alt-folk debut.
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